nick manho

when they came for him in the garden did they know?

2011-10-17T15:29:00.004+02:00

join manho in the november issue of the Oldie as he struggles to appreciate the delights of country living:

in all good newsagents and supermarkets now.

blow the man down, bullies

2011-10-13T22:19:00.003+02:00

in parlamento, silvio spara le minchiate e bossi fa il gesto del pompino. siamo arrivati a questo!

helter skelter

2011-05-07T13:16:00.001+02:00

there's a new manho piece in the june issue of the Oldie (in the shops now).

it's carnival high jinks and fab four fun.

you can find the mag in all good newsagents and w h smiths. enjoy!

la grande bouffe

2010-12-16T23:34:00.003+01:00

cream-filled sponge cakes in the shape of tits, crunchy dead-man's bones biscuits, chocolate eclairs that look like the heads of turbaned infidels... tuck in to the latest manho adventure in the january issue of the Oldie

give me some time to blow the man down

2010-07-03T19:02:00.004+02:00

in this month's Oldie manho checks out the fart tube phenomenon. in the shops now!

lucky luke

2010-03-26T22:24:00.000+01:00

"Suffer the little children to come onto me."

baby it's cold outside

2010-03-11T23:11:00.000+01:00

ronaldinho senta il freddo contro il manchester. mancava solo il cappoto militare.

please sir, can i have some more?

2010-02-13T16:20:00.002+01:00

"In this life, one thing counts
In the bank, large amounts
I'm afraid these don't grow on trees
You've got to pick a pocket or two"

sing along with the gang HERE

the piper at the gates of dawn

2010-02-07T15:24:00.000+01:00

there's a new manho piece in the february 2010 issue of the Oldie. it's been in the shops for a few weeks already so get your skates on and pick up a copy before the sell-by date arrives.

over that bridge and into the hills above Noto, Sicily is where our hero ventures in the article. it's a sort of manho and the temple of doom thing: stolen greek treasures, goat-herders, home made riccotta...

it's a good one.

in from the east with the sun in my eyes

2010-02-04T22:21:00.000+01:00

a couple of hours ago at the end of my road

helps you to understand

2010-01-30T19:17:00.001+01:00

somebody told me to listen to this new group from catania. they're called Chamberlain. i usually don't even bother listening when people tip me off about new music and if i do listen i always hate it. always. but i listened to these Chamberlain guys and i really liked it. sounds a bit like oasis but oasis are old cronies now and these kids are all in their early twenties, so if they keep improving... who knows?

they have an ep out:

you can stream the tracks at their myspace page: MySpaceChamberlain

and if you like them you can become a fan at facebook: FacebookChamberlain

50 years ago this month this happened:

"In January 1960, still drummerless, the band persuaded John's friend Stuart Sutcliffe to join the band as bassist. Stu couldn't play but as George puts it, '... it was better to have a bass player who couldn't play than to not have a bass player at all'."

i hear these Chamberlain kids do a live version of doctor robert... hmmm, you never know.

photo opportunity

2009-11-21T21:57:00.000+01:00

"As you can clearly see, a wall seems to have fallen down."

he got sweet gift of gab, he got harmonious tongue

2009-10-11T22:22:00.000+02:00

shave and a haircut two bits

2009-10-02T00:21:00.001+02:00

the first images of the very earliest man-like person (or whatever) are coming through on the internet. forget Lucy (she was so last year), and say hello to four and a half million year old Ardi:

couple of things come to mind. good and bad. first the bad: (s)he could do with a full-body wax treatment (head included). and the good: s(h)e doesn't have any tattoos.

the one with the waggly tail

2009-08-27T23:29:00.001+02:00

"Hey Lady, there's no meat in this spaghetti, let's go to the park and eat a couple of innocent children."

check out the september issue of the Oldie (in the shops today) to see the truth behind the disneyland cuddly wild dog propaganda:

you'll find it in all branches of w h smith (you have to dig deep, though, it's usually buried behind the spectator) and i believe from this month you can also buy it at your local waitrose supermarket. it costs about the same as a cheap bottle of chilean red and if it has the same effect on your bowels as the wine you're quids in, you've saved the price of a bog roll.

il capolinea

2009-07-13T22:46:00.000+02:00

"Il partito non è un autobus."

"Il partito non è un tram."

"Il partito non è un taxi."

ahimé, hanno ragione...

a pocketful of posies

2009-07-09T21:59:00.001+02:00

"Look, Barry, is a house all fall down."

now here's a funny thing

2009-07-08T22:48:00.000+02:00

"So, is real, Barry, what they telling, just as the arm of the baby with apple in you hand?"

the end of the line

2009-06-30T23:58:00.000+02:00

mai due senza tre

2009-06-26T01:01:00.000+02:00

"Mamma mia... speriamo che Scapagnini non si riprenda."

half-white man speak with forked tongue

2009-06-21T17:53:00.001+02:00

10 PROTESTERS SHOT DEAD IN IRAN!

"Stop the violence."

100 INNOCENT MEN WOMEN AND CHILDREN BOMBED TO DEATH IN AFGHANISTAN!

"No comment."

gordon threatens to go. not.

2009-06-20T22:01:00.001+02:00

"I could walk out of here tomorrow. I could, but obviously I won't. In fact, you'll have to drag me out of here by my greying pubic hair if I lose the election. Think squealing like Fatass Al Gore about cheating and slimey opposition tricks. Recounts. That sort of thing. After all, they laughed at Ralph Nader when he was 40% behind in the polls but he went on to win several presidential elections and he was a boring old academic too so I don't see why I should..."

shhhh, don't wake him up...

2009-06-08T00:42:00.000+02:00

will this guy even manage to get down to the polling station and vote for himself?

tits 'n' ass

2009-06-02T15:47:00.000+02:00

silvio sings james brown

2009-05-30T00:29:00.000+02:00

Fellas, I'm ready to get up and do my thing (yeah go ahead!)
I wanna get into it, man, you know (go ahead!)
Like a, like a sex machine, man, (yeah go ahead!)
Movin' and doin' it, you know
Can I count it off? (Go ahead)

One, two, three, four!

Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Stay on the scene, (get on up), like a sex machine, (get on up)

Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Stay on the scene, (get on up), like a sex machine, (get on up)

Get up, (get on up)
Stay on the scene, (get on up), like a sex machine, (get on up)

Wait a minute!
Shake your arm, then use your form
Stay on the scene like a sex machine
You got to have the feeling sure as you're born
Get it together, right on, right on.

Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)

Hah!

Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)

You said, you said you got the,
You said the feeling,
You said the feeling you got to get
You give me the fever 'n' a cold sweat.
The way i like, it is the way it is,
I got mine 'n' don't worry 'bout his

Get up, (get on up)
Stay on the scene, (get on up), like a sex machine, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)

Bobby! Should I take 'em to the bridge?
(Go Ahead!)
Take 'em on to the bridge!
(Take em to the bridge!)
Should I take 'em to the bridge?
(Yeah!)
Take 'em to the bridge?
(Go Ahead!)
Hit me now!

Come on!

Stay on the scene, like a sex machine!
The way I like it is, is the way it is
I got mine, (dig it!), he got his

Stay on the scene, like a lovin' machine
Stay on the scene, like a lovin' machine
Stay on the scene

I wanna count it off one more time now
(Go ahead!)
You wanna hear it like it did on the top fellas?
(Yeah!)
Hear it like it did on the top?
(Yeah!)
Hit it now!

Get on up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Get on up, (get on up)

Stay on the scene, (get on up), like a lovin' machine, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)

Taste, (get on up)
Bein', (get on up)
Taste, (get on up)
Bein', (get on up)

Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Stay on the scene, (get on up), like a sex machine, (get on up)

You gotta have the feelin, (get on up)
Sure as you're born, (get on up)

Get it together, right on, right on
right on, right on, (right on, right on)
right on, right on, (right on, right on)
right on, right on, (right on, right on)

Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)

And then, shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker

Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)

Huh!

Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)

Can we hit it like we did one more time, from the top
Can we hit like that one more time
(One more time!)
One more time!
Let's hit it and quit! (Go ahead!)
Can we hit it and quit? (Yeah!)
Can we hit it and quit? (Yeah!)
Can we hit it and quit? (Yeah!)

Hit it!

noemi, no party

2009-05-27T20:28:00.000+02:00

Invitate da Silvio per la prossima edizione della sua tradizionale festa di Capodanno a Villa Certosa, Sardegna, ragazzine sexi posano per una foto di gruppo.

my boomerang won't come back

2009-05-24T21:17:00.000+02:00

il caso mills, cosa sarebbe?

"Il caso Mills è un boomerang per la sinistra."

e il caso noemi, cosa sarebbe?

"Il caso Noemi è un boomerang per la sinistra."

e un boomerang, cosa sarebbe?

"Un boomerang è un arma letale per uccidere il tuo nemico."

panem et circenses

2009-05-13T22:16:00.000+02:00

barry and 'chelle at the white house "jazz and poetry" evening

Obama Tries to Block Release of Detainee Photos

President Obama is seeking to block the release of photographs that depict American military personnel abusing captives in Iraq and Afghanistan, his spokesman said Wednesday, fearing the images could spark a hostile backlash against United States troops.

cool sounds from the auschwitz orchestra.

benny in the holy land

2009-05-12T11:43:00.000+02:00

the pope takes a piss at the wailing wall.

alas poor barack

2009-05-11T11:36:00.000+02:00

Heard the one about the president who cracks jokes about race and 9/11?

President's gags tickle Washington journalists
Topics include the press, family and his predecessor

What Obama's comedy debut, which came at the annual White House correspondents' dinner, lacked in filth and fury, it made up for with a series of occasionally biting one-liners that poked fun at his family, his colleagues, his rivals and, most of all, himself.

"Heard the one about the deep-fried Afghani babies?"

fried babies, fried chicken

2009-05-07T23:38:00.000+02:00

and while the afghani babies who managed to survive the bombs frizzled away in hospital obama and biden took advantage of a cool photo opportunity in a slobby hamburger joint in virginia.

"Easy on the ketchup, Barry."

obama the baby killer

2009-05-06T15:14:00.000+02:00

this guy has just murdered over 100 innocent afghanis. women, kids, babies in their cots, sick old guys... bombed to fucking death.

"Obama? You have to laugh, right?"

the battle of the sexes

2009-04-19T19:34:00.005+02:00

"Vinco io, Mara. Siamo entrambi senza minchia ma io ho le minne più grosse."

ci vuole un muratore di fiducia

2009-04-14T23:18:00.000+02:00

"La palazzina a fianco alla mia è crollata, quella di fronte alla mia è crollata. La mia no. Ma nella mia abitava il costruttore..." - da La Repubblica 8 aprile 2009

"The building next to mine collapsed, the one opposite mine collapsed. Mine didn't. But in mine lived the guy who built the building."

terremoto?

2009-04-06T23:30:00.001+02:00

"Ma quale tragedia, sono sopravissuto io!"

nani e ballerine

2009-03-29T20:49:00.002+02:00

ma, che fine ha fatto gianfranco? non ama il circo?

sono silvio, aiutatemi

2009-03-24T22:50:00.001+01:00

"Ciao, sono Silvio. Sono un criminale e farei qualsiasi minchiata per evitare di finire in galera. Vi prego, votatemi."

è morto silvio

2009-02-10T00:27:00.000+01:00

"Ma quale morto! Mi hanno detto che ha la minchia ancora rigida come un albero ed è pure in grado di avere figli."

oggi in italia

2009-02-06T23:21:00.001+01:00

Fini: "Che vecchietti di merda. Io ho solo 58 anni."

Bari, arrestato finto prete per abusi sessuali
L'uomo, 53 anni, si faceva chiamare padre Pietro Maria. Aveva fondato una sedicente comunità missionaria con un oratorio in cui accoglieva i ragazzi d'estate

finto prete arrestato subito. così si impara. solo i preti veri possono stuprare i bambini.

e intanto la sinistra presenta la novita...

benny out of touch with jewish sensibilities shock!

2009-02-04T00:13:00.000+01:00

"Let them eat bagels."

cuckoo clocks

2009-01-31T00:38:00.001+01:00

if you happen to have a root canal appointment with your dentist di fiducia and you're sitting worriedly in the waiting room, check out the mags on the coffee table. if you find the january 2009 issue of the Oldie:

flip through the pages till you come across the manho article. it's sure to cheer you up. manho, sans toad, is taking a stroll down cemetery road. the background music is a cool hungarian zither playing the theme from the third man. you laugh, you cry, you contemplate the inevitable.

yes we can

2009-01-20T22:30:00.000+01:00

"Anche il mio padre non poteva entrare in ristorante 60 anni fa... era troppo ponchio!"

*thanks to dag for the artwork.

se ci fosse stato silvio...

2009-01-13T23:32:00.000+01:00

"Va bé, non è la Carfagna ma è una bella gnocca, lo stesso."

se ci fosse stato silvio...

2009-01-05T23:41:00.001+01:00

"E simpatico il Vu Comprà ma se deve per forza andare in giro in mutande almeno si mette un paio di Tommy Hilfiger, vero?"

se ci fosse stato silvio...

2009-01-04T18:35:00.000+01:00

"Ma quale andicapato? Frankie si diverta un sacco andare in giro in suo golf cart."

all things must pass

2008-12-28T20:50:00.000+01:00

the recession is biting hard. are you feeling it? well, there are ways of surviving. you have to cover all the bases. get all the angles worked out, leave no stone unturned.

take a look at the london eaterie in the photo (cafe rimini, 47 cranbourn street). originally it was a fish and chip shop. then a trendy islington guy happened by and asked for a baguette with brie and a rocket salad on the side. so what did the owner do? he phoned out for the order and the next day he also had it on the menu. it's called covering the bases. a few weeks later madonna came through the door and she wanted a veggie felafal - what with being jewish and also a pathetic believer in alternative lifestyles. quick phone call and the first lady of dreck was happily munching on her ersatz snack.

then they got luigi the plumber to pipe in a gaggia and started picking up disaffected starbucks clients. it's called working out the angles. then it was pizza for the hordes of italian students during study-holiday hell. then it was the all day breakfast and beer-bar for fat slob alcoholics (remember, they have money too). chicken and chips, sushi on a stick, halal burgers, coke, pepsi, sprite, dr peppers, tomarchio chinotto, red bull, blue ray, tizer, plj, ribena, lucozade, gatorade... it's called leaving no stone unturned.

there's a recession on but remember, capitalism isn't finished till the fat lady farts.

harold (very long pause) popped his clogs

2008-12-25T15:41:00.000+01:00

look at the above scene from the dumb waiter. check it out if you can. scorsese and tarantino owe everything to this guy. harold was certainly the greatest english playwright of the 20th century. and maybe even the greatest english writer. not as good as sam or joycey but they were irish, not english. then again harold was jewish. does that count as english?

"popped his clogs" is something harold himself would have written, right?

or maybe not.

god's spin doctor

2008-12-22T12:16:00.000+01:00

not a week passes without a new soundbite from ratzinger. today it's "I am not a rock star." it's driving me crazy. luckily he's 83. should only be around for another twenty or thirty years.

well gimme one for the money

2008-12-14T23:49:00.001+01:00

someone threw a shoe at george and strangely, he ducked. after all these years he's finally learning. he didn't put his foot in it this time.

ciao ciao silvio

2008-12-06T22:56:00.001+01:00

silvio ha fatto un po' di jogging oggi. mi viene in mente la famosa foto di mao facendo il bagno nel fiume yangtse:

mao era già morto da qualche mese quando hanno "fatto" la foto.

stupido ma onesto

2008-11-29T14:45:00.003+01:00

29/11/2008 (13:7) - IL GIORNO DEL GIUDIZIO
Renzo Bossi bocciato per la terza volta

La famiglia avvisata telefonicamente
VARESE
Renzo Bossi non ce l'ha fatta neanche questa volta. E' fallito così anche il terzo tentativo di superare la maturità. Il figlio del leader della Lega nord Umberto, non ha superato l’esame orale della maturità scientifica ripetuto da privatista dopo la bocciatura del luglio scorso presso il Collegio arcivescovile Bentivoglio di Tradate, in provincia di Varese. L’esito negativo è stato reso noto questa mattina dall’istituto scolastico.

"Almeno non sono raccomandato."

mind the doors

2008-11-24T23:47:00.003+01:00

Obama: Ho scelto le migliori menti per fronteggiare questa terribile crisi

"Quel colorato di merda ha rubato la mia idea."

when you're young at heart

2008-11-16T15:07:00.001+01:00

"Nessun malore, sto benissimo, sono gagliardo come un ventenne"

neri per caso

2008-11-07T21:30:00.001+01:00

"Tutto questo bordello per una carineria? Mi chiedo che succederà quando faccio quella dei negri con le minchie mostruose!"

* thanks to dag for the photoshop work.

now we've got the beat (get up and dance) with snoopy's happy feet

2008-11-05T17:36:00.001+01:00

"All my bitches and my niggaz and my niggaz and my bitches wave your motherfuckin hands in the air"

vietnam? what album was that one on?

2008-11-03T22:00:00.000+01:00

"I had a buddy at Khe Sahn
Fighting off the Viet Cong
They're still there, he's all gone"

help for the thick: part two

2008-10-29T18:20:00.000+01:00

donald trump - check out that thicko hairstyle - has lost 1,000,000,000 dollars in bank deals during the latest monetary crisis.

trump's solution: keep your money in the bank.

manho's solution: stuff your money down the back of the sofa.

it's as simple as that, right?

help for the thick: part one

2008-10-16T23:11:00.000+02:00

sarkozy - check out that thicko face - is whining because some black african fans whistled during the playing of the french national anthem before the recent world cup qualifying game: france v black guys team.

sarkozy's solution: stop the game when fans whistle during national anthems.

manho's solution: stop playing national anthems before games.

it's so simple, right?

i'm just a jealous guy

2008-10-15T00:21:00.001+02:00

what it don't get i can't use

2008-10-09T01:16:00.000+02:00

20,000,000,000 euro dallo stato per salvare le banche private

"Nessuna banca italiana fallirà. Sopratutto la mia."

he'd even like to sleep at night but he can't

2008-10-08T22:28:00.000+02:00

shave and a haircut... two bits

2008-10-04T00:41:00.000+02:00

if you were wondering why the fuck italy is going down the drain then look no further:

italian union leader:

carabinieri general:

afghan warlord:

liberal democratic modernist political leader:

it's the moustache, right?

behind every great man...

2008-10-02T01:26:00.001+02:00

"Hi, I'm Sarah Palin. Just wanna let you know that if McCain kicks the bucket I'll be around to pick up the pieces."

"Hello, I'm Joe Biden. If Obama goes down we're all fucked."

"Gimme five, man. Hi, I'm Ralph. I really can't understand why the Dems didn't give me the Biden job. I'm 100 times more useless, boring and unknown than he is."

all my bitches and my niggaz and my niggaz and my bitches wave your motherfuckin hands in the air

2008-09-20T02:25:00.000+02:00

woody came out for obama today. with his popular family style appeal he's sure to shift large numbers of votes for the man.

and not only woody. a lot of other cultural figures have been blowing their trumpets for barack over the last few days:

barbra streisand, bruce springsteen, mikey moore, roscoe arbuckle are all on the bandwagon. the same guys who made sure john kerry beat bush in 2004 are using their charismatic charms to put the black guy in the white house.

people who need people are the luckiest people in the world. babs said that.

seven nation army riff

2008-09-17T01:36:00.000+02:00

"Brutto episodio in città stasera. Una povera bianca squadrina di calcio ha sofferto uno stupro di gruppo ed era lasciato a morire senza nemmeno una telefonata al pronto soccorso. La polizia (con l'aiuto del'esercito) sta cercando undici romeni di merda."

suzy creamcheese, oh baby now, what's got into ya?

2008-09-14T01:20:00.000+02:00

some of the non-winners in tonight's miss italia final.

one flew east and one flew west...

2008-09-11T23:48:00.000+02:00

i'll take my monkeys, you'll take your donkeys, we'll have a race right now

2008-09-10T23:35:00.000+02:00

schadenfreude

2008-09-08T20:59:00.000+02:00

i remember (tu-tu) they had a swimming pool

2008-09-02T23:31:00.000+02:00

Osservatore Romano: "La morte cerebrale
non è sufficiente a stabilire il decesso"

that's the vatican today telling us that just because you're diagnosed as brain dead doesn't mean you're actually dead in the eyes of god. and who can argue. check out the following members of the italian government:

and that's just a thru f.

never the twain shall meet

2008-08-04T15:59:00.001+02:00

the odd couple

2008-08-01T01:05:00.001+02:00

there's a clash of the giants in the "summer" issue (no. 234) of the Oldie magazine nestling on your newsagent's shelf as from today: nick manho vs walter matthau.

"I'm funny but I met my match in Manho."

so get with it. more and more elderly guys are buying the Oldie every month. leave it at the side of the bed. it gives you something to do when the viagra doesn't work.

silvio - se non compra la partita - porta iella

2008-07-23T23:39:00.000+02:00

paolo maldini. il più grande perdente nella storia del calcio italiano. ha perso:

3 finale di champions league: 1993, 1995, 2005.
3 scudetti: 1990, 1991, 2005.
3 coppa intercontinentale: 1993, 1994, 2003.
3 supercoppa italia: 1996, 1999, 2003.
2 coppa italia: 1990, 1998.
1 supercoppa europea: 1993.

but we'll still swing together and swear by the best of schools

2008-07-05T02:37:00.001+02:00

Boris (thinks)... "Liar, rascal, rogue, cheat, scoundrel... hard to believe he's not an Eton man."

silvio porta iella... anche ai suoi figli

2008-07-04T00:09:00.000+02:00

"Giuro sulle teste dei miei figli che non ho mai in vita mia parlato al telefono."

rob every bank you see, tell the judge i said it was all right

2008-06-26T00:14:00.000+02:00

it all adds up

2008-06-25T19:51:00.000+02:00

"P2... Milano 2... lodo Schifani 2..."

a shot in the dark

2008-06-23T23:43:00.000+02:00

IT WAS THE TIMES WOT WON IT!

2008-06-07T23:35:00.002+02:00

silvio porta iella

2008-05-31T00:06:00.001+02:00

"Mai detto che Chiaiano sarà zona militare. Mai detto che lo Stato farà il suo dovere. Mai detto che useremo la forza dello Stato..."

gimme shelter

2008-05-25T02:07:00.001+02:00

"Why is it you can never get hold of a decent Ku Klux Klan hitman when you need one?"

il gesto dell'ombrello

2008-04-27T03:30:00.001+02:00

town full of losers

2008-04-20T23:11:00.000+02:00

"Vote for Obama or I'll keep shouting like this all night."

big day for barack. springsteen blesses him with his support. the big o will surely be thinking about the last democratic candidate that bruce endorsed...

"Excuse me for speaking with my mouth full but big thanks for helping me get into the White House, Bruce. You really are the Boss."

I'm guessing McCain is shaking in his boots.

alliance nazional

2008-04-17T22:58:00.001+02:00

"Come potete vedere, sono contentissimo di sedermi a un tavolo con gente di questa qualità."

white man speak with forked tongue

2008-04-16T21:13:00.000+02:00

if you go carrying pictures of chairman mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow

2008-04-15T00:31:00.000+02:00

"Siccome la gente non ci vuole più abbiamo deciso di formare un "Boyband". Solo che non possiamo decidere chi sarà il lead singer. Comunque, ci vediamo in piazza San Giovanni per il concerto del Primo Maggio. Power Too The Poeples, Right Hon!"

don't try and dig what we all say

2008-04-11T00:48:00.000+02:00

there's a little manho piece in the may 2008 edition of the Oldie magazine which hits the shops today:

british manho completists can stroll down to their local branch of WH Smith and purchase the mag for the laughable price of £3.25 (an investment for the grandchildren?) but american fans will have to check out ebay or napster, i guess.

the Oldie is a literary magazine for ageing ravers, for guys who have swapped Ambre Solaire for Preparation H. it was the brainchild of richard ingrams:

the editor of private eye "when it used to be funny", as they say.

here's a photo of ingrams with his "longtime collaborator and friend".

looked way up the chimney hole, deep down inside my toilet bowl... they got away

2008-04-09T19:09:00.001+02:00

"Se vinceremo le elezioni, i libri di storia saranno revisionati ..."

vote for silvio

2008-04-09T01:14:00.000+02:00

"Mai detto quello che ho detto."

nader's message of support for hillary

2008-03-30T03:37:00.001+02:00

"Don't let them get to you, Big Girl. You stick it out, now, ya hear? All the way with HRC, right? Remember when they used to laugh at me? But I proved them all wrong. I became President of the United States several times. I kicked Bush's ass. I came from behind to sneak it against ol' Ronnie Raygun. Tricky Dickie thought he was too good for me but he soon learned what going 15 rounds with ol' Ralph was all about..."

making all his nowhere plans for nobody

2008-03-27T21:41:00.001+01:00

"Vorrei dire che in questa campagna elettorale non sono la valetta di Berlusconi."

"... e vorrei pure dire che non sono la velina di Berlusconi."

"... e sopratutto voglio dire che non sono lo sguattero di Berlusconi."

"Diciamo la verità, in questa campagna elettorale non sono un cazzo."

man turns his back on his family well he just ain't no good

2008-03-25T23:10:00.000+01:00

"He would not have been my pastor. You don't choose your family, but you choose what church you want to attend."

"Yep, you guessed it, the cigar was a gift from my old Gramps just before he died of cancer. "Slide it right on up there, Bubba. Get it all sloppy wet before ya suck it, ya hear me?" Those were his last words. Like, what's a guy gonna do, diss his old Grampy on his fucking deathbed or something?"

anything you can do

2008-03-21T23:11:00.001+01:00

Roma, 22:30
PD: VELTRONI, SE VINCIAMO FAREMO I CUS

Roma, 22:31
PDL: BERLUSCONI, SE VINCIAMO FAREMO IL COUSCOUS

i don't know how i'm gonna do it only know i'm gonna try

2008-03-18T13:47:00.000+01:00

DALAI LAMA IN RESIGNATION SHOCK!

"From now on just call me Jeff, ok?"

lipstick on your collar told a tale on you

2008-03-15T03:13:00.000+01:00

"You won't find no semen stains on our dresses."

shirley temple, eat your fucking heart out

2008-03-11T23:29:00.000+01:00

did you check out the 3-year-old hillary video?

Cute Little Baby Hilly

"Take it from a cute kid who knows, we don't want no coon in the White House, right?"

spitzer comes clean over prostitute scandal

2008-03-10T23:20:00.000+01:00

"I cannot tell a lie. It wasn't me, it was Obama."

gotta keep searchin'

2008-03-09T17:46:00.001+01:00

hillary's been a bit quiet for the last few days but you can bet your life she's got her guys out in the field looking for new angles...

"And, like, have you kids had pedophile experiences with any of Obama's relatives?"

you keep saying you've got something for me

2008-03-08T21:06:00.000+01:00

obama's footwear. all the better for walking around and talking to the people.

hillary's footwear. all the better for kicking you in the bollocks.

she did the monster mash

2008-03-07T21:40:00.003+01:00

After Remark, Aide to Obama Resigns
Samantha Power, a foreign policy adviser to Barack Obama, apologized for calling Hillary Rodham Clinton "a monster."

clever stuff from obama today. like, how do you actually say to the public that hillary is a demented, power-hungry monster? well, you get an aide to do it for you and then you get her to resign. but, meanwhile, the world gets to know something from the inside. something that everybody suspected anyway but was never said: hillary is a monster.

thanks sam. you had to fall on your sword but don't worry, when obama wins you'll get a cool white house job.