nick manho

the first images of the very earliest man-like person (or whatever) are coming through on the internet. forget Lucy (she was so last year), and say hello to four and a half million year old Ardi:






couple of things come to mind. good and bad. first the bad: (s)he could do with a full-body wax treatment (head included). and the good: s(h)e doesn't have any tattoos.

"Hey Lady, there's no meat in this spaghetti, let's go to the park and eat a couple of innocent children."



check out the september issue of the Oldie (in the shops today) to see the truth behind the disneyland cuddly wild dog propaganda:





you'll find it in all branches of w h smith (you have to dig deep, though, it's usually buried behind the spectator) and i believe from this month you can also buy it at your local waitrose supermarket. it costs about the same a cheap bottle of chilean red and if it has the same effect on your bowels as the wine you're quids in, you've saved the price of a bog roll.

"Il partito non è un autobus."




"Il partito non è un tram."




"Il partito non è un taxi."




ahimé, hanno ragione...

"Look, Barry, is a house all fall down."

"So, is real, Barry, what they telling, just as the arm of the baby with apple in you hand?"