Monday, November 08, 2004

 

i cover the waterfront

i've been getting quite a bit of feedback from readers and most of it is positive but one or two guys are complaining. nadia (16), from liverpool, england writes saying, "you're weird, but funny." weird? well that's not the image i'm aiming for, i hoped people would see me as a serious journalist doing cutting-edge social commentary.

maybe it's because i do all my stuff with the computer (stealing from other sites, mainly)? ok, today i'm going out on the street. it's 12.15 now and i'm leaving the house and i'm not coming back till i've got a story. a real story about real people, not some second hand junk from the internet.

check me out later today.


11.30 pm horror update

i remember watching a tv programme in the 80s called "hill street blues" and at the beginning of every episode the sargeant said to the cops who were about to go on duty, "and hey, let's be careful out there." it was a sort of catchphrase, or something. i never really understood what it meant until today.

shit, it's scary out on the street. i'm glad i just stay at home all day working at the "byte-face". if i told you the things i saw you wouldn't believe me. luckily, luigi lent me his digital camera so i have the proof.

the first thing i noticed was that the place is full of dead cats:



my guess is that they're suicides. all those female bloggers writing about their cats are driving them to jump under the wheels of passing cars. whatever, they're everywhere. you're, like, stepping over them every five minutes.

then there are guys begging everywhere:



guys better off than you are asking you for money and cigarettes and stuff. you're trying to step over a dead cat and there's a guy asking you for a cigarette or money for a coffee or something. what's that all about?

then, as i was trying to find a bar for a moretti and a cipollina, i stumbled into some sort of social problem thing:



there were guys throwing fire bottles and stuff and the police were beating them over the head with sticks. shit, i was trapped in the piazza for 4 hours and there was nobody even selling sandwiches and coke. there were even some old women protesting. what's all that about? old women in the street protesting? i couldn't understand what they wanted because their placard things were all in english:



the police finally managed to break open everybody's head and i got to a bar in a nearby street and had a snack, so all was right with the world again. but then, as i was coming home and passing the level crossing thing where the cars have to drive over the railway lines i witnessed this terrible accident. some idiot misjudged the distance of the oncoming train and his car was a complete write-off:



i didn't stop to see the driver's reaction but i guess he was really pissed off because his car looked like it needed a few hundred dollars worth of repairs.

i learned a good lesson today: stay home and surf the net, the street is a zoo.



Comments:
oh boy, is this gonna be great!!

-a reader in norway
 
I keep refreshing the page and still nothing...I hope nick's ok.
 
Noooo, Nick! Get back out there. Please! Photoblogging is where it's at, dude. And then those hilarious captions -- sure it hurts a little when the cappuccino shoots out my nostrils -- but they're funny -- funny as hell. And funny is good.

-a Red Stater in the, you know, States.
 
yeah, red stater, photoblogging may be the big thing but it's full of dead cats out there.
 
Satinists! Satin worshipers you have out there!! Yeah--really, the dead cats are the first clue. The old guy trying to hpe you for thirty cents to buy a jug of thunderbird and some peanuts might be suspect. You gotta get that grant from Georgetown and leave that neighborhood dude--its a jungle out there!!
Obviously, I enjoy your site. Actually its getting to be a kinda chrono of progress ( really) you are getting better with each posting ( God! says his MOM don't encourage him--he will never leave the computer room!!)
CIAO
 
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