Thursday, November 18, 2004


i'm in love, i'm all shook up

the apple in the garden caper

i got to thinking after writing that adam and eve thing, why an apple? why was it an apple eve gave to adam in all the books? why not a banana, or a kiwi?

i'm going out on the street again today and i'm not coming back till i have the answer.

sgt toysday checkin' inta da precinct

i'm back. i asked a lot of questions out there on the street to a lot of guys who just didn't want to talk. call it "omerta", call it "airhead reality", call it what you will, there's a lot of guys out there who wouldn't answer a question in exchange for a nude weekend with kate bush.

i've been trying to get to the bottom of this adam and the apple mystery and the only stuff i came up with today was metaphorical. one thing: don't ask chinese beggars about the bible, they'd rather spit in your face than answer. who knows, maybe "why was it an apple that god made eve give to adam?" means something different in their native tongue. anyway, give them a miss, that's my advice. you get more information from a dead cat.

i did get a couple of leads: the william tell thing, for example. they say he was on a paedophile rap, the kid was tied up alright, but there was no apple, the apple was just a metaphor.

and the devil is invoved just like in the pocklington scam. there's this place down in new zealand called "the devil's marbles" where you can see a split open apple as big as a bus. it's erotic, they reckon.

i'm getting there. this apple thing isn't going to beat me. oh, and by the way, when you're out on the street take some rubber boots with you. you can clean the dogshit off easier.

late night apple update

remember, it's the viscount of vavoom tomorrow, the king of the frisco jive-talk, glenn "who, me?" cripes.

i'll be back on saturday.

why an apple?


adam wanted to "think different"

there was no "different" then. it was all new.
couldn't have been all that new, nick. after all, the apple tree is a type of rose - it comes from the rosaceae family. it would have taken hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, yes EVOLUTION, for that apple tree to become what it was. adam would have known that had he but paid attention in first-year biology class instead of passing notes with the cute aboriginal girl who sat behind him.
so the apple is a rose, really? that's nice. and eve was offering adam a rose? it makes sense, you offer a guy a rose and he goes off and sleeps with the little chick with the webbed feet, big tits and lizard tail.
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