Wednesday, November 10, 2004

 

therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh

great successful marriages: #35



you probably recognise these two guys, right? they've had a lot of bad press over the years but, if you think about it, whose fault was it that they fucked up? they were living happily in innocence, mainly due to the fact that they never saw each other nude as god always made sure that a twig with a leaf on it would cover the erotic bits at all times.

anyway, they did their best what with the kids breaking their balls and having to do all that agricultural work with no lambourghini tractor to help them out, and they seemed to be making a go of it, they seemed to be making the marriage work. so what does god do? he sends down a cute chick with big tits and a lizard tail to seduce adam:



now eve was no dog, she was considered to be one of the cutest girls around at the time:



but even she couldn't compete with the tits and the green, scaley feet. let's face it, adam had no chance. but what did eve do? sue for divorce? no, she forgave her hubby. then what did god do? he sacked them both and got some new guys in to delve and dive for him.



look at him. eve and adam without a stich and there he is in the latest armani fucking toga. what a jerk he was.

anyway, adam and eve had the last laugh because their marriage lasted a lifetime and the kids went on to create the whole of this wonderful world that we know so well today.

god? well, he never did marry, he's a bitter old guy with a long white beard now (i'll see if i can google a photo of him and post it later).

and who, in all honesty, can say they're surprised?



late night god photo update

i've been googling for a couple of hours and i can't find one photo of god online. just paintings. maybe god has some copyright scam going for him. anyway, this is the nearest i could find to the bitter guy with the long grey beard and the cute toga:



come on, god, snap out of it and be nice. it's not too late, they say there's another 300,000,000,000,000,000,000 eons to go before the world ends with a whimper. give us all a break, man. cheer up and stop breaking our balls.



Comments:
I was under the impression that it was Eve who let a snake (gettit? snake?) have his way with her.

I forget, is Wednesday vintage porn or Bible theory day?

Keep up the good work. Your blog is always thought provoking!
 
eve and the snake? you fell for that 70s feminist revisionist propaganda. it was a midget woman with big tits, green duck feet and a lizard tail. and it was adam who was seduced not eve. look at the photo, man, does that half woman, half duck look like a snake to you?
 
Good shot of God --who incidently is always portrayed as white and kinda scowling. the one you have is by Michelangelo and although you can't see it in your cut, he is reashing out to "create" Adam. Probably why the panel of this in the Cistine chapel is named "Creation of Adam" I guess. One that is close to this also is God creating the sun and the moon. Now, if you want to see how Adam and Eve felt after that three day orgy, look at Masaccio's "Expulsion form Paradise" (1426-1428, Fresco in the Brancacci Chapel, Santa Maria del Carmine, Florance. He depicts them as worn, tired and really haggard. The Angel is chasing them with a really big sticker.
 
Hmm, you're funnier than me. I mean, than I. Stop it.....
 
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