Friday, December 17, 2004


Famous Brown Hair Shirt

by Glenn Cripes

I opened my weekly review package from manho this week, and what do I see? Songs of Love and Hate.

Come hang upon my altar...c'mon, it'll be fun!

Leonard Cohen has been like one of those restaurants that I've heard about but never went into. I've stopped by and looked at the menu and caught a whiff of the food and always thought, 'well maybe someday...'. Lots of people I know with good taste rave about him. I've read interviews with him and he seems like a funny, self effacing fellow...I've heard he's a nice I figure now is the time to give Lenny a serious listen.

Warning to readers--I don't f***ing get it.

On first hearing it sounds like Sonny Bono on death row with a children's choir....people voluntarily listen to this?

That voice--don't get me wrong, I actually prefer singing voices that most people find irritating. I like Keith's voice better than Mick's. I think Bob Dylan has one of the 3 best voices in popular music. But this Cohen's one thing using his voice to relay his words, but where does he get off with all the 'la la la la, la la's'? These lyrics puzzle me. He obviously puts a lot of thought into them, but it comes out sounding labored. Great lyrics should somehow enunciate the pent-up words of the soul, but this stuff is exhausting. When I hear a great lyric, I wish I had thought of it. When I hear this stuff, I thank my lucky stars my mind doesn't work that way. When I google Leonard Cohen lyrics my browser quits on me...that's how dense they are.

What rhymes with Rosicrucians? Ah hell with it.....'la lala la la la'...yeah, that works...damn, I'm good!

This stuff infuriates me. It's like being stuck on a barstool next to a professor who can't hold his liquor pissing in your ear. Cohen's metaphors are crap...unless of course you've had Joan of Arc tempt you with a clarinet waving a nazi dagger. Breaking up is hard to do, but it's a day at the beach compared to having to wade through this pedantic horseshit. This stuff is strictly for jerks.

Still, I'm left puzzled. This Cohen guy got lots of puss in his day...lots more than I ever did.

all i know is if i hear that hallelujah song one more time, it will be all that my own fragile, self-effacing superego can do to suppress my inner beast from hurling my at once dark and humorous self into the mississippi river.

-#1 cripes fan
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