Monday, February 28, 2005

 

wade in the water, wade in the water children

... manzoni got it all wrong with that can of shit, by the way. the original idea came from marcel duchamp who signed a urinal with the name r mutt and called it art:



but what manzoni and the rest of the witless neo-expressionists didn't understand was that duchamp wasn't making a statement about art, he was commenting on the pathetic design of your common or garden toilet:



think about it? what happens when a man pisses into one of those things? any harrassed housewife will tell you that some of the piss goes down the bowl and some of it goes on the bowl, on the wall behind the bowl, on the floor around the bowl, and - for some reason only enrico fermi could explain - all over the floor in the hallway outside the lavatory. it's the spray factor at work:





you get these posh bogs in upper class houses and they've all got a bidet. they think they're clever, one better than the working classes: "hey, we clean our arses in this, look how lovely we are."

but then, the same rich guys get up from the bidet with a clean arsehole and piss all over their own floor.

you have to laugh, right? duchamp must be chuckling to himself up there in dada heaven.

Ω

Comments:
"THANKS NICKY"

20th October 1660 'This morning one came to me to advise with me where to make me a window into my cellar in lieu of one that Sir W Batten had stopped up; and going down my cellar to look, I put my foot into a great heap of turds, by which I find that Mr Turner's house of office is full and comes into my cellar, which doth trouble me; but I will have it helped.'
 
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